More on phones, and starting your life over

Dear Internet,

Before I get going, here are some stats on myself that might be interesting:

On my old cell phone, which I had running for a period of 3 years or so, I had 255 hours logged total, a good 10 days of solid conversation. 145 hours of that figure consisted of me calling other people, 110 hours was me getting called. From this you can either conclude that I'm just a social, outgoing person, or I just happen to like other people more than they like me.

My current phone, which has been in operation for roughly half a year, has 17 hours logged so far, spread over 444 calls (average call time 2.5 minutes). My future biographers, looking at this data, would no doubt be able to conclude that tele-communicative activity has slowed down considerably in my life. I live much closer to the people I know, and the phone's become a way to co-ordinate things rather than serve as a means of actual conversation in my life.

I'm really not much good on the phone these days. Back three or four years ago that was mostly how I kept in touch with people in social circles defined by digital rather than physical boundaries. At that point it was easier to talk or get some conversations out over the phone than in person, because I was used to really long, focused conversations. These days it's more of the opposite, I'm more comfortable in a situation where if a topic runs out we can just do something else or focus on something different. I've basically traded a long-distance relationship skill where I focus on one person at a time and talk about everything in the space of an hour or two, to having more of a group personality where I try to focus on everything at once.

One topic of conversation caught my eye recently. Someone asked, if you could go back in time and tell your twelve year old self anything, what would it be? It's interesting because you have to think about what you've learned over the years, or even what advice you'd have to offer to someone growing up in your position.

I don't think I could tell myself how to get out of every problem I'd run into. The most valuable thing I've gotten out of my life so far is the experience of it. I couldn't tell myself how to never mess up, break my heart, or make a fool out of myself. The experience and the knowledge you get from doing those things are worth more to me in the long run than anything I've been through.

The best bit of advice I could probably give myself is to do more than I'm comfortable with. Most of the things I've learned how to do socially or academically have been because I've had to, in spite of feeling uncomfortable and out of my element. I've been at my most creative and learned the most when I've forced myself to change something about my life despite not knowing how.

I might tell myself to try to figure out earlier this time that not everyone is going to like you, that you can learn how to do anything if you're willing to fail enough times, and that you can get something out of any situation if you spend more time dealing with life as it is rather than how it should be.

I try not to get too nostalgic or play "what-if" too much. Starting my life over would just set me back from where I am today. You still have the chance to change anything about your life or yourself, but time only goes forward. Every year hopefully you get a little bit smarter and a little bit wiser at dealing with life. You never get a chance to meet yourself and see how you'd get along, but you do live your life around people farther along that road and people who are still trying to reach where you are. The closest you get to seeing the future and the past is keeping in touch with the people on both sides of you.

Tags: cell phones past